Welcome to Mystery Topic Challenge #4. I mentioned this and linked it yesterday, so here it is. The topic was suggested by Mr. President of Textual Relations.
If you were President/Prime Minister for a day, with the power to do absolutely anything (Supreme Court? What Supreme Court?), what would you do and why?
Let me begin by saying that I rarely discuss any political topic online. I started a blog for entertaining myself and the occasional stranger who happens to find it. Please take everything beyond this point with a grain of salt and a sense of humor, but in the process of reading, think about where we are in this place and time and how we managed to get here. Now it’s easy, do something to change it, locally, state wide, country wide, it’s up to all of us to make change rather than allowing those with their heads firmly entrenched in their own asses to decide what is best for all of us. If you don’t agree with something, get off your ass and do something about it.
Now, on to my plans …
1. The very first thing I would do is to implement the “I am responsible for Me” blanket clause that will override all legal bullshit that occurs in the court systems. This idea was first instituted by my kid’s kindergarten teacher. It’s elegant in its simplicity, let me give you an example so you can see how it works.
Two children are playing with something that they were asked to leave alone. The teacher says, “Bobby and Linda, put that back on the shelf.” Bobby looks up and quickly says “But Linda did it first, I just did it because she did.”
Here’s the part you need to see in action. The teacher turns to little Bobby, and replies, “Is Linda responsible for you playing too, or did you decide to do it yourself?” I think you get the idea…
I think most of us would agree that Bobby and Linda are both responsible for their own actions here and should be reprimanded equally. Now, let’s put this policy into effect in the real world.
Linda grew up and went to work in the big city, she started her day chatting on her cell phone in the car and drinking a steaming cup of soy latte from Starbucks each morning. While setting up an appointment for a bikini wax, she reaches for a pen in the passenger seat of her car, and hits a pothole, spilling hot coffee on herself. She rushes over to her lawyer and says, “Oh my, I got burned in my car. If that coffee hadn’t been so hot it wouldn’t have happened.”
With the “Responsible for Me” law in place, Linda’s lawyer looks at her and says, “So Starbucks made you hold a steaming cup of coffee in one hand while you chatted on your cell phone with a hands free unit while driving down the road. You neglected to see the large hole in the road because you took your eyes off what should have been your main focus, and you ran over a pothole? Who is responsible for you, Linda?”
I am a firm believer that this one change will free up 90% of all legal resources. Nuff said, aside from the fact that I think public mockery of people who try and pull off stupid claims like this should be mandatory each Thursday.
2. There are a number of laws in existence that limit the number of bars/pubs that can be in a given area. I would like to set up similar laws to limit the number of fast food establishments in the same way. We’ll keep it simple yet again. No more than two fast food restaurants in a five mile radius of each other. Do we really need more than that. We’ve seen the results nation wide of what eating this crap does to us. Yet we allow a insane number of these establishments to grow along our main streets and interstates. Do we need to have 15 options of hamburgers to choose from, for pete’s sake, it’s a friggen hamburger (most of the time).
3. This one is going to get me in deep shit. That whole “No child left behind” bullshit? By God, if Bobby can’t do simple math or read on grade level then hold his sorry ass in a grade until he accomplishes the task. This is not open for debate or challenge. We are a country that is getting more and more stupid as the years go on. If you question that, let’s look at the “Responsible for Me” section again, shall we? We as a whole bitch and moan about illegals and the welfare state, but let’s be honest with ourselves. How many of you bitching about it are willing to go out and do the jobs that those people do every day? Shut the fuck up, get back in your beemer and piss off already. If Bobby can’t read on an 8th grade level by the time he is 18, then maybe college isn’t the place for him.
We have shifted ideas from children’s sports, ie everyone gets a trophy, there are no winners and no losers, into real every day life as adults. The fact remains that we are not all equal. Some people are smarter than others. There’s no way around it. Right now we teach our children to the lowest common denominator, hence the reason that most high school books are written on 8th grade reading levels. Do I believe that everyone has a right to an education, yes, I am a firm beleiver in giving everyone an opportunity to do well with the resources they are given. Do I think that schools should be judged and awarded funding by the government based on how their students perform on a test, Hell Fucking NO!
Let’s be honest with ourselves here, our school systems currently spend the entire year teaching our children how to pass a fucking test. They go in every day and pray that the majority of kids can manage to scrape by, because if they don’t then funding is going to get hit. Why the hell, in one of the richest nations in the world (how much money are we spending to bomb the shit out of other countries that don’t like us?) do parents and teachers have to do fund raisers just to provide basic tools for teaching. Why do independent parent created non profits exist to provide technology grants to the schools in some places? Why the Fuck is the government not plowing money into education. Do you want the kids you see right now coming out of the school system running this country?
Everyone should have the chance to meet their potential, but I don’t believe that some should be stuck sitting around because Sally can’t grasp advanced math. Sally and the other kids need to be put together and taught on their level and the kids who get it can move on to something else. Sally’s and Sue’s potential may not be the same, and limiting what Sue learns because Sally doesn’t get it sucks balls, and not in a good way here guys. For all that is holy and good in the universe, let the teachers actually teach. That’s what they are good at, that’s what they want to do. If you ask anyone in the profession why they are there, they’re sure as hell not going to say it’s for the pay. They are there because they believe in children and their ability to change the world. They teach to inspire and enlighten, they do a job that should be one of the most important ones in the world. Let them do that job.
4. Lastly I want a small crack team of scientists to work in a secret location to find a drug. This drug will change the world more than anything else that can be done. I want them to have unlimited resources and I want them to work in shifts around the clock until they perfect it. After proper testing, (not on animals, because animals don’t suffer from this problem) this drug will be given to every person in the country. This drug will solve so many problems. What does it do, you ask with baited breath? I think it will only take a generation or two using it before the results will be seen. I think it should be secretly added to all bottled water, because no one drinks tap water anymore. You’re still waiting for me to tell you what it does, aren’t you?
This miracle drug will make stupidity hurt, and it will be the only drug that will be advertised on television, ever. There will be no discussion.
(At this point, I want to direct you back to the top of this article. The part where I said this is for entertainment. I know I’m full of shit, and that most of this is bull, but honestly, there are some things tossed in here that really piss me off and if I’m pissed, I know more of you are as well. There are other things that I wanted to say just to annoy people. Don’t take it out on me, just snicker, call me a stupid bitch and get on with your day. Please remember that regardless of it being a law or not, you are responsible for you, and in a greater way, you are equally responsible for making changes that effect you. Do your part by voting and speaking out on those causes that are important to you. If you don’t do it, no one else is going to do it for you.)
