events « Stepford Mom

It’s always been one of my favorite holidays. Until we moved to the hell that is this neighborhood, that is. I remember the first year here, we got the kid dressed up and headed out the door. I would say that 3/4 of the houses were dark and no one was home, of the remaining ones, you had about a 1 in 4 shot of getting told that you were going to hell and that celebrating the devil was not something that would get you ahead in life. I’m really glad my husband had the kid out and I was at the house handing out candy because I would have kicked her ass. Every year since then it’s been a guess as to what kind of night it will be. There are a total of 3 houses on a street of about 50 that have some kind of decoration up, but that doesn’t really determine the number of kids that will show up at the door.

We used to live in the weird, cool area of town, and the kid still goes to the school over there because his dad’s house is in the school zone. All the parents there go all out for the day. It’s what I remember Halloween being like as a kid. Every house is lit and the parents are all sitting on porches handing out candy and the kids just start at one end of the street and work their way around the neighborhood.

I don’t know what the hell happened to everyone between being a kid and becoming a 40 something, but honestly, why do some people have to suck the life and fun out of the world for the rest of us. I think events at the school kind of sum it up for me. A few years back, we went to a “Fall Party” at the kid’s school, because we can’t call it a Halloween party cause that’s just not cool anymore. One of the parents got bent out of shape because there were bats on the cupcakes…no shit. She took her kid out of the room until the party was done, but she had to make a point of coming back in herself to explain that as a child she remembered the fun of Halloween but things had changed and she had been saved and now it was not something that she could be a part of because of how wrong it was. Can I get a big WTF here?

It just makes me wonder what happened to all the people who now go ballistic over stuff like this. It was fun when I was a kid, but now things are different and it’s wrong. I don’t get it, it was fun when I was a kid too, and it still is, of course not as much because of where we are in Stepford Hell.

I understand the necessity of Vista to ask if I am sure that I want to install a piece of software. In this day and age when the security sellers of the world have led us all to believe that even looking at a machine can invite viruses, hackers and assorted other apocalyptic events to occur, it makes perfect sense that I, after logging into my account with a password, have to further say that yes indeed, I do want that piece of software installed. I’m giving you this one. However, somewhere down the line did you not take into consideration that not all software fits conveniently on one disk? Most games, and we all know how you have all the game manufacturers pushing those of us who want the fastest/prettiest/most awsome games in the universe to upgrade to this POS, do not come on one disk. If you’re lucky they have a dvd version, but unfortunately that is not always the case.

Let me introduce you to an idea that involves common sense (which I obviously lack because I installed this bloated hell hole of digital spew on my lovely hardware) Like I said previously, I have to log in to my account, proving that indeed I am the user who is allowed to install this stuff. I put the disk in the machine, click install and sit and wait until I get the “OMG Do You Want???” equivalent on my screen. At this point, I say, “Why yes oh great intuitive digital system that will make my life so much easier and safer, I would like to install this really bitchin app on my hard drive,” and I click yes.

Now here is the bit I’m having a hard time with. I reach the point in the install where the product disk gives me a little message “Please insert disk #2 to continue the install.” That seems really simple doesn’t it. I take disk #2, a continuation of the install that I have already said, “Oh yes great wonderful OS, you are so smart that I no longer have to think for myself, you do it for me.” and I click “Ok I put in disk #2.” Not 10 seconds later I see on my screen “This program is trying to install something do you want to continue?” WTF Bill? Did I not at the beginning of the process say “Yes I want to install the game of awsome pwnage on my pc?” Is it not obvious that disk#2 comes after disk #1? Let’s not even discuss the fact that between the original game install and the expansion pack, I will have to swap a total of 8 disks, and with each consecutive disk I must again and again say “Feck already with the allow this crap, I’ve said yes continue 7 times before now. Do you get the point yet?”

I know I’m a Windows user and therefore there are a group of people out there that think we are less smart than them (which is debatable because I didn’t blow an obscene amount of money on a phone the day it came out so I could be one of the cool kids…don’t you feel special now) and we need this kind of rampant check system, but honestly, can you please see it to create a patch for people with brains who want their machines to do what they want them to, not what some bunch of wankers who think they know what I need my machine to do.

Thank you for your attention, I’m now off to a school meeting to discuss the “Fall Festival” because we aren’t allowed to let our children run around dressed in costumes, consuming more candy than their bodies can process because it’s all about suppressing the memories of our own childhood in a fog of Prozac and political and social correctness.

Now where did I leave my apron?

Stepford Mom

events

Halloween

Dear Mr. Gates,